Tick Tock..the pain is ticking..

What is supposed to be a time of refuge and peace turns out to be one of the worst episode of my life. But I'm glad to be home.

My right shoulder started hurting after confinement. Thought it was due to what's normally known as 'masuk angin' or 'novingkat (for Kadazanlah)'. When I came back home for Chinese New Year earlier, I went for a couple of traditional massage sessions and it gave relief.

However, my right fingers became stiff every morning when I woke up a few weeks afterwards. At times I woke up in the middle of the night coz the fingers became painful. When I got back home early this month, the first thing I did was to go for the traditional massages. It gave only a bit of relief. I decided to give the orthopaedic a visit. Was told that a nerve in my neck was swollen thus affecting the function of my right hand. Gave me a few medication and a session of physiotherapy. The next morning, I wasn't able to grip both of my hands. So, off to the doc again. The bomb dropped on me that morning. The x-ray I took of my neck showed clearly of the C4 and C5 fusion. I didn't feel anything when he told me of my condition. Then I asked him what is there to be done and he repeated the same question to himself. Tears unknowingly started trickling down my face when he told me it is impossible to surgically separate the 2 bones. 'Lifelong medication and therapies'.....the words just went sailing through my mind and boy, was I sad at that moment. 'You better not carry your son.' I became depressed when I heard those sentence.

What am I supposed to do? Kept on asking myself that. I cried a river when I called hubby that day. Mommy was braver than I anticipated. She didn't shed a tear though her eyes became red when I broke the news to her. She's trying to be strong for me. I'm forever grateful for that coz I was determine not to cry in front of her, ever.

I started daily therapies from that day on. My condition worsened last Tuesday. Both of my legs and hand were terribly painful in the evening. Got myself warded into QEH that night. However, the orthopaedics and neurologist could not figure out why my limbs are hurting as the symptoms are not associated to my fused vertabraes (according to themlah). They only know there's problem with my nerves. I have to depend on painkiller each time I have a bout of the near-cramps experience. I couldn't walk properly at times.
The neurologist wanted to do a Nerve Conduction Study but my appointment is on 18 Sept coz the queuing line is a mile long. I got discharged as there is nothing to be done or can be done. I only have gabapentin - a neuropathic pain reliever, to help me at the moment.

Guess I got to check myself in the private hospital eh....hope I'll find the answer and correct treatment soon or else I might end up being a drug junkie..he,he,eh..fancy that..